The social landscape has changed in terms of what people do on a first date, and with dating in general. There are no generalities when it comes to what people do for dating or love. However, the rules of common sense apply in life to everything.
These days, people are less loyal and likely to turn a date into a long-term relationship, but that’s a generality because there are people out there who are bound by what they believe in and things that cause people to be inseparable at the same time. So a better way to describe it is, “most” people these days are in a shallow place when it comes to dating.
Also these days, people aren’t going to have a lot of extra money to spend. So common sense would suggest that on a cordial first date, the two people should probably each pay for their own drinks and food, unless there is some factor involved that would suggest one of the two should pay.
So a user posted the screenshots of his texts to Reddit, showing that a girl he had taken out on a date was extremely offended that he didn’t pay for her drinks and food.
The thing is, according to the texts she chose to purchase lobster and a £72 bottle of wine, and the guy simply paid £14 for carbonara and a beer. Plus the woman invited him to this date, and based on how offended she was that he didn’t pay, it sounds a lot like the sole purpose she invited him out was to make him pay for a meal that costs over £100. If a man was manipulated into paying that much for a woman’s meal, when it’s uneven like this and she wasn’t offering anything in return, in Cali we’d call him a mark.
There’s a difference between doing something nice for someone in a mutual relationship, and being manipulated into paying for someone’s meal because they believe they can do that. People have to assert themselves.
This guy definitely replied with some coldness. “You invited me. You are lucky you didn’t pay for my food too,” he said.
Then she replied “I’m never going out with you ever again, if you can’t pay for a girl’s food then why accept the invite.
Gentlemen always pay for girls’ food.”
Then she came out with the bombshell: “i guess you are gay.”
It’s clear that she had no intention of doing anything but manipulating him into paying for her food. Doing so would be treating him like a fool, like a complete mark. Nobody but a fool would pay for someone’s food while they behave like that, there’s a clear difference between being polite and being taken advantage of.
Some of the comments read:
“If someone invites me out then I go because I want to see that person and would never expect a free meal. That would be selfish and entitled.”
“I’m a girl and I always go into the mindset that I pay for my drinks/food with anyone. Guy or girl.
“If they offer to pay I’ll let them but offer to pay theirs next time we go out.”
“Anyone that expects that royalty treatment is not someone you want in your life. Good move.”
It’s common sense when you recognize in person what the intentions of someone are. Doesn’t even have to be said, manipulators are not usually good at concealing things from anyone but susceptible people.