The Unspoken Side Of Long Term Relationships Revealed In 20+ Brutally Honest Illustrations

Love is something everyone in the world needs. It’s an element like water or air that we just cannot live without in our lives. Everyone wants to feel loved. That’s why, when you do find someone to share your life with, it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Love is no stranger to Los Angeles based artist Amanda Oleander, who is a highly accomplished illustrator and fine artist. She has created a series of illustrations that showcase what it’s like to be madly in love with someone, and how that love transforms over time in a long-term relationship. According to her biography at, she became an international sensation after her illustrations were featured in E! Entertainment, working as their very first in-house illustrator.

Amanda created original works for many of their articles. Since then, her work has been seen in places like NY Magazine, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, and even Vanity Fair. Her illustrations are absolutely stunning and really are unique to her personality.

Let us then explore what has made Amanda’s view on love so unique with 25 of her illustrations that can be found on her amazing Instagram account (@amandaoleander). These drawings really show what it’s like to be in love, and also in a loving long-term relationship.

1) Morning Breath Is Tolerated: 

In this first illustration, we can see two people madly in love with each other. Let’s face it, nobody looks that good in the morning, and furthermore, nobody smells that good in the morning either. However, when you’re in love with someone, these worries seemingly melt away. You’re just happy to be in their company.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

2) Spooning Is Extraordinary: 

When you find a person that you love, no matter how long you’ve been with the person it’s always an enjoyable experience when that person wants to cuddle. Cuddles are what make the world go round. Spooning a loved one helps you feel safe and cared for. It’s just amazing.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

3) Even Grocery Shopping Is An Adventure:

It’s a lot of fun when you get to prepare meals with a loved one. A loving long-term relationship is made even better when something as mundane as grocery shopping can become an enjoyable experience. Shopping for food is fun, but it’s even more fun when you can do it with someone you love.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

4) You Aren’t Afraid Of Each Other’s Bodies: 

This is especially true when you notice something on your loved one that they haven’t quite noticed themselves. Sometimes our bodies are gross and make something like a pimple due to blocked pores. You know someone loves you when they’re willing to pop it for you.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

5) You Appreciate The Things They Do For You: 

In any loving long-term relationship, you take turns helping around the house. Nobody should ever share the burden of cooking all the time, or doing the laundry or always cleaning the bathroom. These are shared responsibilities. It feels amazing when you have this working relationship with the person you love, but also when it’s time to do these chores, you’re always willing to put in a helping hand. Cooking can be fun, but it can also be time to flirt as well.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

6) Sometimes You Need A Hug: 

Hugging is the greatest thing ever. Any person who gets hugged on a regular basis can tell you that it feels wonderful, and you feel a lot less worried or stressed about things the more you hug. Getting lost in the arms of the person you love is such a delightful and wonderful feeling.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

7) Snuggling On The Couch: 

Another great activity for people in a loving long-term relationship is snuggling on your couch. You don’t feel worried to be doing anything at all and time seems to go out the window as you simply enjoy the other person’s company. Couch snuggles are where it’s at people!

Instagram | @amandaoleander

8) Teasing Is All In The Name Of Good Humor: 

Sometimes it’s a lot of fun to catch your loved ones in awkward or compromising positions if it’s all in the name of good humor. You aren’t teasing them because you enjoy being mean, you do this because when your loved ones let their guard down, they can look really cute!

Instagram | @amandaoleander

9) You Help Each Other Get Ready: 

After a long and hard day, or in a particularly difficult morning when motivation is at its lowest, that’s when we struggle to even do something as simple as brush our hair out before bed. Having a loved one do this for you is both cathartic and shows their love for you.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

10) Coming Home To See Them Is The Best: 

After a long day at the office or if you’ve been away for a while, coming home to see your partner is such a joyous feeling. You feel like a part of you has been missing since you parted. Yes, having separate activities and things is healthy, but it’s nice to come home and be with the person you love. You know what they say, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Instagram | @amandaoleander

11) Smelling Their Hair: 

Any person who has ever been in a loving long-term relationship can tell you that even the scent of your partner’s hair is enough to intoxicate you. Especially if they’ve just come out of the shower, or if they have fresh product in their hair.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

12) Reading To Each Other: 

Sometimes it’s just really nice to have someone read out loud to us. Reading to each other is both romantic, and therapeutic in a way. It’s enjoyable to hear your partner read to you, and it’s also a great way of showing your love for the other person. Haven’t any of you seen the movie The Princess Bride?

Instagram | @amandaoleander

13) You Melt In Each Other’s Arms: 

Sometimes, especially on days when we really need to feel the other person, a simple kiss or caress of your partner’s hand is enough to melt you into a warm pile of gushygoo. Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than by showing your feelings physically in a loving long-term relationship.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

14) Counting The Stars: 

When you’re in a loving long-term relationship, nearly every activity becomes infinitely more romantic than it ever was. So an activity that’s already romantic like counting the stars becomes even more romantic! When you’re with the person you love, you feel like you could count every star in the universe and it still wouldn’t be enough time.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

15) Find Little Hairs: 

When you’re in a loving long-term relationship, you tend to find traces of your partner everywhere you go. Especially if your partner has long hair. You’ll find these hairs in your clothes, in the bathroom, and sometimes even in your food. However, it doesn’t bother you because it’s like finding a little reminder of the person you love around the house.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

16) Falling Asleep Watching Movies: 

Any person can tell you that their partner has fallen asleep on the couch while watching a movie. For some people, it happens way more often than others. When you’re in a long-term relationship, you actually begin to anticipate it, and inevitably accept it.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

17) Dancing Privately Just Because: 

A sign of a true romance is if couples in long-term relationships decide to have their own private dance with each other when playing music. Is it corny? Yes. Is it cheesy? Heck yes. Is it seriously the most romantic thing ever? You bet your buns it is.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

18) Washing Hair Is Fun: 

A lot of boys can tell you that they actually really enjoy washing a woman’s hair, so why not make it a full-on spa day and have them do it for you? It will be an enjoyable experience for the both of you, and you’ll have the cleanest hair ever by the end of it!

Instagram | @amandaoleander

19) You Tolerate Your Partner’s Body: 

Sometimes being in a loving long-term relationship means tolerating your partner’s quirky body. They may have a strange mole hidden in a funny place, bad morning breath, or in this case, razor-sharp talons for toenails! A gentle reminder to cut them is usually all you need, and of course, maybe some band-aids.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

20) Reading Together Is The Greatest Thing Ever: 

Couples who read together stay together. Reading is an enjoyable activity, and so is reading at the same time as your partner. You can enjoy each other’s company and also have it be quiet time as well. You may even want to start your own couples book club!

Instagram | @amandaoleander

21) Sharing Food: 

Any person who has been in a loving long-term relationship knows that you cannot buy a bit of fast food or street food without sharing a few bites with your partner. It’s almost always necessary. Who wouldn’t want to try a bite of your delicious street pizza?

Instagram | @amandaoleander

22) Eating Out Becomes An Adventure:

Is there an exciting new bagel place that just opened up? What about that pizza parlor someone at work told you about? Or a new cafe that just opened up at the end of the street? These are some of the things that you get excited to go to and talk about with your partner.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

23) You Create New Traditions: 

When you’re in a loving long-term relationship with someone, you tend to spend a great deal of time with them. This, in turn, allows you to create new traditions together, whether it be celebrating Halloween with style, or taking off one weekend a year to do nothing but watch movies. Whatever this tradition is, you can look forward to it every year.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

24) Unexpected Finds With Laundry: 

Sometimes when we put on our clean clothes for the day, it immensely helps when we have a loved one there with us to find potential things wrong with our outfit before we head to work. Or, in this case, an unexpected hairball that missed the dryer’s lint trap.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

25) Love Is Eternal: 

When you’ve found the right person in a loving long-term relationship, you very clearly want to take it to the next level and spend the rest of your lives together. You suddenly realize that you cannot live another day without this person in your life for good. One of the greatest feelings in the world is knowing that you’ve found your soulmate.

Instagram | @amandaoleander

This article originally appeared on providr


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